Productivity is a change of pace…

Today was the most productive day ever.  I caught up on a TON of things that I thought that I’d never have the time to finish before Friday.  I graded an enormous stack of papers, put a ton of grades into the computer gradebook, made most of my copies for the rest of the week, had 2 meetings, and left work early.  I didn’t have any tutoring sessions booked for tonight, so I was home at 4:30, worked out, showered, and have time to indulge in guilty-pleasure tv?  AWESOME.  I also only have 2 more chapters to finish of my book – which I still have time to do before bed.  YAY!!!  Not bad for a day when I totally overslept and didn’t work out this morning.  My lunch for tomorrow is even made, saving me an extra 10 minutes tomorrow morning….

So I’m currently watching the Voice – mostly because I like to hear pretty singing – and also because I’m trying to figure out why Cee Lo has midget arms.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be famous – but mostly I just wonder what it would feel like to be REALLY talented at something.  Just gifted – really really awesome at SOMETHING.  I feel like I’m mediocre at a lot of things.  I’ve been OK at a lot of stuff over the years – piano, clarinet, ballet, speaking french – but when it comes down to being really GREAT at something – I really don’t have that thing.  Maybe I’m still looking for it, maybe it doesn’t exist.  I do know that I constantly feel like I’m falling just a bit short on things.  This year has been especially hard on me for that.  I had this really great job interview this year – got turned down in the final 2 people.  Then I was nominated for this teaching award with a big monetary prize – fell short in the last 30 finalists.  Was nominated for another teaching award – fell short again.  I have NO IDEA why I am so disappointed by these shortfalls either.  I mean it was the first 2 times in 9 years that I’ve ever been nominated for anything like that at all.  I never expected to win – but the closer that you get to the final group of something, its harder and harder not to get your hopes up.  I do try to stay positive about things – which no one ever believes because I have a reputation as being a pessimist (being realistic does NOT mean that you expect bad things – it means you mentally prepare for both positive and negative consequences.  Nothing irks me more than people calling me negative).  But its hard to maintain positivity when you’ve had a pretty disappointing year. 

I’m thinking of trying to do something that’s just for myself this summer.  I don’t know what yet – maybe french or ballet class – maybe something totally new and different like kung fu – which my chiropractor often suggests to me.  Of course it does all come down to time and money.  If I can find something at a convenient time & a reasonable price – something that isn’t too common in Chicago – I’ll sign up immediately.  I feel like I need to spend time with other adults outside of the insanely busy and frustrating realm of education.  I feel like over the years that my career has almost made it impossible for me to have friends.  The people that I work with are like family to me – they’re awesome people – but I feel like I don’t have ‘friends’ anymore.  I don’t have people to shop with or go to the movies with, or call when I’ve had a crappy day.  I mean I guess I could post a ‘I need non-teacher friends/I’m not a crazy stalker/murderer’ ad on craigslist.  But that usually results in creepy emails from old men looking for three-somes.  Where do adults that have 2 jobs and 20 minutes a week to themselves meet friends?  Is it worth making new friends if you don’t have time to invest in a real relationship with them?  Quite frankly, I’m amazed that I can manage to talk to my boyfriend for more than 20 minutes a week.  Considering how much attention he requires, I’m amazed that he hasn’t lost interest in watching me sleep in a deep coma all weekend.  Thankfully the weather is finally getting a little bit better – so hopefully we can at least get outside now. 

Oh well – back to vegging out and wondering about Cee Lo’s arms.  They’re just so SHORT.  How does he type?


3 thoughts on “Productivity is a change of pace…

  1. ellpeee says:

    LMAO @ your comment about Cee Lo’s arms.

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