Welcome to crazyteachertales – a blog that will hopefully keep one Chicago Public Schools teacher slightly sane!
So it’s Spring Break. Finally. This is the latest Spring Break that I’ve had in my 9 years of teaching. And wow was it needed. It’s no secret that teaching is the most depressing, exhausting, insane career out there. But then you have to deal with people constantly telling you how easy it is – the idiotic comments from corporate America:
“WOW I wish I was 30 years old and still got a Spring Break.” (Hey a-hole – by this point of the school year I have already clocked more hours since August than you will have by the end of July – oh yeah and I never get paid overtime!)
“WOW, I wish I had 3 months off to sit on my ass all summer while getting paid to do nothing” (Hey jagstains – I’m not being paid for doing nothing – I’m getting paid the money they held back from my cheques all year so that I could get a paycheck over the summer. I’m getting paid late for work that I did months ago!)
“WOW, it must be nice to get off of work at 2:30” (Hey jerkwad – I wake up at 4 am, leave the house at 6:30 am, get to work at 7 am, teach until 3:30 – and am LUCKY if I get home before 7:30 PM. I don’t have the luxury of waking up at 8 to get to work by 9 am – I’ve already taught 2 classloads of little jerkoffs by the time you’re pulling into the parking lot at work. I don’t have the luxury of getting home by 6 and getting to watch Dancing With the Idiots – I get to come home and DO MORE WORK. Usually this work includes reading at least 45 kids answer the question: “What landform creates the boundary of Illinois & Iowa ?” – with the answer “Pacific Ocean” over & over again while hating myself intensely because obviously it must be my fault.
“Man you teachers have it made. I wish I got a $100,000 a year pension!” (Hey jerkwad – so do I. Unfortunately you keep taking my pension benefits away so I’ll be lucky if I get $30,000 a year after you finally let me retire when I’m like 72. I don’t get any Social Security either – so while you’re raking that in – I’ll be working at Walmart during my so-called retirement to supplement my crappy pension that keeps getting smaller every year due to lame media coverage & poor politicians who can’t balance their checkbooks)
But anyway – teachers are one of the most ridiculous groups of people out there. Not only because you have to be totally insane & partially mentally handicapped to deal with not only other people’s children (the good, the bad, & the ridiculous), but their parents (the insane, the entitled, and the paranoid). While simultaneously dealing with your administration (the detached, the underqualified, and the partially-psychotic). If you have your own family to deal with on top of that – well by this point in the school year you’re ready to check into the funny farm.
I embrace my insanity. I laugh about it! Which is the purpose of this little blog. To laugh about my exploits in education – because you HAVE to laugh about it – or else you’ll cry!
Student quote of the day: “Miss ______, can I get demerits for wishing the school burned down”
Reply: “Of course not. You’re allowed to think whatever you want to. Its a free country. Just don’t talk about it outloud.”
Reply: “Is that why you have to hold your opinions in until you’re in the teacher’s lounge?”
So what has my first day of Spring Break consisted of? Getting up at the insanely LATE hour of 8:30 AM. Then I ran 5 miles, did yoga, took a shower and ate lunch – while watching soap operas. I now plan on taking a nap and reading for PLEASURE. Hell yeah Spring Break rules!!!!!!